Total Drama All Stars: Heroes VS Villains
by Professor Snaglefoompus
Summary: Here's my take on what the pilot episode of Total Drama All Stars will be like! Will the villains defeat the heroes, or will they be held back by Alejandrobot? Why is bossy Courtney a hero, when Gwen is not? And which one of the campers is secretly Chris' son?
1. Episode 1, Part 1

**Total Drama All Stars: Heroes VS Villains**

In the woods of Canada, there exists a peaceful summer camp where the birds are always chirping, the sun is always shining, and there is always a cool breeze blowing over the relaxing waters of the lake.

This story does _not_ take place at that camp.

Instead, our story takes place at Camp Wawanawka, one the worst, run-down camps in all of Canada. Here, two men were finishing preparations for their fifth round of tormenting teenagers on international television.

"Ah, another season," Chris McLean said, taking a deep breath. "There's nothing quite like it, eh, Chef?"

"I dunno if we should be back here," Chef Hatchet said. "What if there's still some radioactive waste here?"

"Don't worry, the government says that the island is _completely_ decontaminated now," Chris said. "That means the only toxic thing here will be...your cooking!"

"That's not funny, Man!" Chef shouted, while Chris snickered.

Chris patted his buddy on the back and adjusted his hair, which was unnecessary, because his hair already looked perfect. "We ready to get started?" Chris asked.

"Rolling cameras in three...two...one..."

"Hello, Total Drama fans!" Chris said to the camera. "For the past four seasons, we've been torturing your favorite teenage heroes. They've been forced to go through the sickest, craziest stunts imaginable, all in hopes of winning a million dollars."

Chris smiled for a moment, then frowned as he looked at Chef Hatchet. Chef scratched his head.

Chris coughed loudly. "Chef, that's your cue!" he whispered.

"What? Oh yeah!" Chef said. Reading off of a large cue card, Chef Hatchet asked, "But Chris, I was wondering, what happened to my favorite character?"

"An excellent question, Chef! We've gotten a lot of mail from fans, who want to see their favorite characters return. And _we've been listening! _This season, we're bringing back fourteen of the most popular participants in all of Total Drama history. You know them, you love them, and we're giving them another chance to win the million dollars today on Total...Drama...ALL STARS!"

***cue theme song***

Chris McLean casually strolled down the dock, flashing his winning smile at the camera. "Welcome back to Total Drama All Stars," he said. "As I said at the start of the program, we're bringing back fourteen of our former contestants to compete in this all star season. We've got the best of the goodies, and the worst of the baddies! Don't believe me? Well, doubt no longer, because heeeere they are now!"

A large white boat pulled into the dock, in front of Chris.

"Let's start with the ladies, shall we?" Chris asked. "Our first contestant starred in. Say hello to Lindsay!"

"Hi, Craig!" Lindsay said. "Oh my gosh, I am, like, sooo glad we're not doing the show any more! Going through all those challenges was, like, _super_ stressful, you know?"

Chris blinked. "Um, Lindsay? The show is still going."

"It is?" Lindsay asked, confused. "But I thought it was over! You said I could stay home!"

"That was last season," Chris said. "We're starting a new season."

"Nooooo!" Lindsay cried. She tried to run back onto the boat. "I don't want to do another season! Take me back to Tyler!"

Lindsay was rudely pushed backwards by a shorter girl wearing a gray jacket. "Out the way, Blondie," she said.

"And this is Jo, our resident fitness expert," Chris said. "Nice to see you again, Jo! I hope there are no hard feelings from your elimination last year."

"Eat it, McLean!" Jo immediately shouted.

Chris winked at the camera. He loved it when the contestants had unresolved anger issues. It made everything more fun.

"And now for everyone's favorite psycho redhead, who went _completely_ insane and started attacking the other contestants at the end of last season...Zoey!"

Zoey walked onto the dock, looking embarrassed. "I already apologized for that," she said. "It was a one-time-only thing. I'm still a good girl, right?"

"If you say so, Izzy," Chris said.

"Zoey!" Zoey said. "I'm nothing like Izzy!"

"Whatever," Chris said. "And now for a Total Drama classic rivalry, say hello to Gwen and Heather!"

The Goth girl and queen bee both left the boat, glaring angrily at each other.

"Hey, Chris, I can understand why _I'm_ back, but what is _she_ doing here?" Gwen asked. "I thought you said this season was for fan _favorites_, not the most hated Total Drama contestant ever."

"Please, like you're popular with anyone," Heather said.

"I can't believe I'm saying this, but I agree with Heather," Courtney said, stepping onto the dock. "What you did with Duncan in _World Tour_ was _completely_ inappropriate! You should be banned from this competition for life!"

"I actually thought that was the highlight of the season," said Sierra, who was following Heather. "Besides for all the parts with Cody in them, I mean."

"Yep, Courtney and Sierra are back, too," Chris said. "Those are our seven female competitors. Now for the six _male_ competitors! Say hello to everyone's favorite videogame nerd...Sam!"

"Aw, man, I can't believe I'm back here again," Sam said. "I'm not very good at multiplayer games."

"We've also got the winner of last season, _Lightning!_"

"Awww yeah!" Lightning said, jumping off of the boat. "Lightning's back to win another round of this game! Sha-winner!"

"Um...dude? What's up with your hair?" Chris asked.

Lightning rubbed his head. His formerly dark brown hair was now colored white. "Well, after lightning hit The Lightning, Lightning's hair was lightened-ning!"

"Um...what?" Gwen asked.

"You look like an old grandpa," Scott said, scoffing.

"Farm Boy Scott is here for another round," Chris said. "How do you feel about your chances this year?"

"I'm feeling pretty good, thank you," Scott said. "I've been training my reflexes to prepare for any possible—" Scott's sentence was cut off unexpectedly, when he tripped over and fell on his face. "Ouch! Who put that rock there?!"

"For an extra dose of crazy, we brought back Multiple Personalities Mike!" Chris said.

"Mike!" Zoey cried.

"Zoey!" Mike said. "I missed you!"

"Oh, I missed you, too!" Zoey said. "I just didn't know how to get in contact with you after—"

"Save the lovebird stuff for later," Jo said. "We don't wanna hear it."

"Our next contestant has a name which starts with the letter 'C'," Chris said. "But that's probably the only thing he and I have in common! Say hello to C—"

"CODY! CODY!" Sierra shouted. She ran over to the diminutive camper and pulled him into a large hug. "I've missed you so much! I knew that restraining order wouldn't last forever!"

"Umf!" the boy whined.

"Uh, Sierra? That's Cameron," Chris said.

"Whoops! Heh heh...sorry," Sierra said, letting Cameron go. The former bubble boy collapsed on the ground.

"Uh, Chris?" Heather said. "Why are all these guys from _last_ season?"

"Yeah, where are all the guys from _my _year?" Lindsay asked. "Like Brett or Gerald or Owen?"

"Or Ezekiel, eh?" a voice from the distance shouted.

Chris blinked. That heavy Canadian accent sounded extremely familiar.

"Don't worry, the next contestant was from the first three seasons," Chris assured everyone.

Courtney spoke up. "I'm fine with anyone, as long as it isn't—"

"DUNCAN!" Chris said, introducing the punk who won Season Two.

Courtney cursed loudly.

Duncan chuckled. "Whoa, better watch your language, Princess," he said. "We wouldn't want Daddy to get mad at you, would we?"

"I'm _not_ your princess!" Courtney said.

Gwen smiled at Duncan. "You're looking extra-criminal today," she said.

"Annnnd that's it!" Chris said. "You are all of the contestants we've invited here for _Total Drama All Stars!_"

"Um...Chris?" Sierra asked. "Sorry to interrupt, but you said there would be _seven _male contestants."

"Yeah, I only count six of us," Mike said. "Who's missing?"

"Obviously, the Lightning is man enough for two dudes!" Lightning said.

"We were _going _to bring back Alejandro, but he's still injured from the volcano incident," Chris shrugged. "We've got the robot suit, but it's pretty much useless."

The robot suit containing Alejandro was rolled onto the dock, by one of the unpaid interns. Heather gasped slightly.

"I call it the _Alejandrobot!_" Chris said. "Clever, huh?"

The campers groaned in response, and Chris shrugged. "Can't win 'em all, I guess," he said. "Now, first things first. Before we start the competition, we're going to split you up into two different teams. And those teams are..."

Chris paused while Chef Hatchet started a drum roll.

"The Heroic Hamsters and the Villainous Vultures! That's right! It's _Heroes VS Villains_ this season! And our villains are Duncan, Gwen, Alejandro, Heather, Jo, Lightning and Scott! Everyone else is a hero!"

"WHAT?" the entire group shouted.

* * *

**Confession Cam - Yep, it's still in the toilet.**

Heather: Why am _I_ a villain? I'm a hero now! I won Season 3!

Gwen: _Courtney?_ A _hero? _That girl does nothing but boss other people around!

Lightning: Chris must not have his head on straight! Lightning ain't no villain!

Zoey: Yay! I'm on the same team as Mike! And it's nice to know I'm on a team with people who _won't _stab me in the back...Scott.

Cameron: I guess being on the same team as Mike, Zoey and Sam will be okay. I don't know about the other people, though...I mean, did you see how that Sierra girl attacked me? I thought I was going to die! Too bad it was the first time I've ever been that close to a girl...

Alejandrobot: *beep*

Jo: So doing whatever it takes to win makes you a villain now? Why is everyone such a wimp when it comes to having a winning attitude?_  
_

Duncan: Yeah, I see what they're doing here. They're trying to get us to fight with each other, by saying we're the bad guys. Well, _I'm not buying it. _I'm not going play this stupid "heroes and villains" game.

Alejandrobot: *beep*

Lindsay: I'm, like, sooo glad I get to be on the nice team this year! Now there won't be anybody to boss me around and tell me what to do!

Courtney: Ugh! I have to lead _this_ team of losers to finals? Getting them to follow orders is going to be a nightmare!

Sierra: Okay, I know this might sound weird, coming from the World's #1 Total Drama Superfan, but I don't actually know any of the people from Season Four. I never watched it! I've just been rewatching _Total Drama World Tour_ for the past two years! I mean, duh, it's the best season of the show so far! That's the one with me and CODY! Speaking of which, _why isn't Cody here this season?!_

* * *

"Great, now that we've got our teams set up, it's time for our first challenge!" Chris said. "And by 'first challenge', I mean _first_ challenge! It's the thousand foot cliff jump challenge from Season One!"

Sierra gasped. "The first challenge in _Total Drama_ history!"

Chris nodded. "That's right! Since we've got a returning cast this year, we're going to be reusing the most popular challenges from the past four seasons! Get ready to relive your worst nightmares, here on _Total...Drama...ALL STARS!_"

Chris gave a double thumbs-up to the camera, and he didn't break his pose until the cameraman gave him the signal.

"Okay, commercial break time," Chris said. "Campers, change into swimming gear. We'll meet at the top of the cliff in twenty minutes. Chop chop!"

The teenagers split up and went to change into their bathing suits. Chris let out a happy sigh of relief. "Something tells me this'll be the best season yet," he said.

"Or maybe the worst season...for you, eh."

Chris gasped as an angry ex-camper with a sweatshirt, medallion and toque jumped out of the bushes.

"Zeke?" Chris asked. "But—you're supposed to be a weird monster creature!"

"Not anymore, eh," Ezekiel said. "I'm back to my old self, and this year, I'm gonna win. No matter what, eh."

Ezekiel swung a crowbar at Chris' head and knocked the host unconscious.


	2. Episode 1, Part 2

Chris woke up in a relatively empty room, tied to a chair. Bright lights shone in his face.

"So, you're awake, eh," Ezekiel said. "Good. I got some questions fer yoo."

"What is this? Let me go!" Chris demanded, struggling against the ropes that held him tight.

"I've been waiting fer this moment for a real long time, eh," Ezekiel said. "Every time I've been on _Total Drama_, I've been voted off first. _And it's all your fault!_"

"You're crazy!" Chris said. "Help! HEEEELP!"

"I watched the tapes! You tried your hardest to make me seem like a weirdo bad guy, eh! In other words, _you wanted me to lose on purpose!_"

"No!" Chris said. Sweat poured down his forehead. "Th-that's not true!"

"Why do you hate me? Why do you want me to lose? TELL ME, eh!"

_"It's because I love you!"_ Chris shouted.

"What the nozzle?" Ezekiel asked. He was so surprised that his hat fell off.

"You...you're my son, Ezekiel," Chris said. "I wanted you to get voted off first, because I was worried about your safety."

"I—wha—DAD? But how?"

* * *

Meanwhile, all of the contestants were gathered on top of the large cliff overlooking the lake. As usual on Wawanawka Island, they were not happy campers.

"It's been ten minutes!" Heather said. "Where is that sorry excuse for a host?"

"Yeah, I wanna get done with this challenge _today_," Duncan said.

*beep beep* went the robot. The robot was wearing a fashionable pair of Bermuda trunks for the swimming challenge, despite the fact that it couldn't actually swim.

"Hmmm..." Cameron said, writing in a notebook. "The other team is easily annoyed and prone to anger. That must be what makes them villains!"

"Cram it, Short Stuff!" Jo said, waving her fist at Cameron. "This isn't one of your stupid lab experiments!"

"Back away from my team member!" Courtney shouted.

A large argument might have broken out, but Chef blew a whistle and stepped forward. "All right, maggots!" he said. "Since Pretty Boy ain't here, I'm gonna take over the hosting!"

"Pretty boy?" Lindsay asked. She gasped. "Is Tyler here?"

"Today, you're gonna repeat the first challenge you ever did on this show," Chef said. "That's jumping off a high, high cliff."

"Um, actually, our first challenge was getting the team totem poles," Cameron pointed out.

"Mine was going through the pyramids in Egypt!" Sierra said.

"Did I tell you to talk?!" Chef shouted. "I'm getting to that! Since you all are from different seasons, we're gonna make you do _all _your first challenges!"

Chef pointed to the lake below, where two large logs were floating. "First! You're going to jump off the cliff into shark-infested waters! Then you swim to your team's totem pole and push it all the way to shore! Pass the totem pole off to your other team members, who take it through the giant pyramid maze and run it to the bunkhouses on the other side of the camp! Any questions?"

The campers looked down at the area Chef was pointing at. Sure enough, there was a giant pyramid on the shores of the lake.

"How did we miss that?" Mike wondered.

"You've got five minutes to decide how to split up!" Chef said. "I got plenty of chicken hats here for anyone who doesn't want to jump!"

"Pffff, who's afraid of jumping into a little lake?" Scott asked.

A very familiar-looking shark jumped out of the lake and gave Scott a toothy grin.

"Augh!" Scott cried.

* * *

**Confession Cam—We Look Fashionable in Chicken Hats.**

Courtney: I swear, they specifically brought back this challenge, just to torture me. I know I chickened out of the challenge the first time, but so what? That was years ago, people! Get over it!

Sam: So, um...I got distracted by my game, and I wasn't paying attention. What's going on now?

Gwen: Sure, I'd love to do more team challenges. Just one problem. _I'm on the same team as all the backstabbing jerks!_

Jo: The Villainous Vultures? They might as well call our team the Dysfunctional Deadbeats! Why don't they let us pick our own teams?

Mike: I have a really good feeling about this season. I mean, now that I've got my multiple personalities under control, everything is going to be perfect!

Scott: My plan this season? Same as last time. I'm gonna fly under the radar and lull everyone into a false sense of security. As long as my teammates keep making enemies with everyone, I'm safe from elimination.

Sierra: This is going to be the best season ever! I mean, I've watched every episode ten times! I know all of the challenges by heart! There is no way I can possibly lose!

* * *

"Okay, time's up!" Chef said. "You figured out how you gonna split up yet?"

"Yes, we have," Courtney said. "We're going to have Cameron, Mike and Lindsay jump. Everyone else will go through the maze."

"Wait, what?" Lindsay asked. "I don't wanna jump! That was scary enough the first time!"

"Trust me, it's a perfect plan!" Courtney said. "Look, the hard part of the challenge is going to be running the totem poles through the maze. That means we need as many people on running detail as possible!"

"I _guess_ that makes sense..." Zoey said.

Chef turned to the other team. "And the Villainous Vultures! Who are you sending?"

None of the teammates heard Chef, because they were all arguing hotly.

"Yeah, right! Like we'll trust _you!_" Jo said. "You sabotaged your entire team last season!"

"At least he didn't _stab everyone in the back _like you!" Lightning said.

*beep beep* went Alejandrobot.

Gwen slapped him. "Don't say that about me, you perv!"

"Please, people, can we just _forget _about what happened in the past?" Heather asked.

"Says the biggest traitor in the history of the show!" Duncan said. "You'd just _love it_ if we forgot about all your sneaky plans!"

Chef shrugged, seeing that none of the contestants had noticed him. "Eh, I'm sure they'll work it out eventually."

"Okay, teams! On your mark, get set, GO!" Chef said. He blew his whistle to start the challenge.

Lindsay peered over the cliff. "Are you sure we have to jump?" she asked. "It seems awfully high."

"Chris said it was a thousand feet tall," Cameron said. "I think he was exaggerating, though. It's probably no higher than 250 meters."

"Is that like a parking meter?" Lindsay asked.

"Come on, you two, stop talking!" Mike said. "Our team is counting on us! We have to jump!"

"Then why don't you go first?" Cameron asked.

"Um...huh...because we're going in alphabetical order?" Mike asked.

"I know the alphabet!" Lindsay said. "Wait, does that mean I have to go first?"

"Well, _I'm _not going first! I don't want to jump until I know it's safe!" Cameron said.

"I can help you, Cody!" Sierra said. She picked Cameron up easily and threw him off the cliff.

"It's Cameroooooooon!" Cameron cried as he fell face-first to the bottom of the lake.

"Heh heh, whoops," Sierra said.

* * *

**Confession Cam—Where No One Gets Thrown Off a Cliff**

Sierra: Okay, so maybe I have a hard time telling the difference between Cameron and Cody. Can you blame me? They're practically twins! They're both so shy and short and awkward and *squee* amazingly cute! Or at least Cody is. Cameron's kind of...yeah.

Cameron: I don't know who this Cody person is, but I feel kind of bad for him, if he has to deal with Sierra all the time. I mean, that girl is crazy!

Sierra: Cody, if you're watching this, don't worry! I'm not going to leave you for Cody 2.0!

* * *

Lindsay jumped off the cliff next, and she screamed all the way down.

"Guess that leaves me," Mike said. He took a deep breath and prepared to do a perfect swan dive, to impress Zoey. As he jogged towards the cliff's edge, though, he tripped on a rock and fell on his face. He ended up rolling sideways off the cliff.

"AHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Mike screamed, as he smashed against the side of the cliff a few times.

"You made it, Spike!" Lindsay said. "Good job!"

"I think I broke my head..." Mike said.

"There's no time to waste," Cameron said. "Let's get out totem pole to shore!"

The three heroes swam to their nearby totem pole, which had the Heroic Hamsters logo on it. Even though it was large, it still floated on the water. The teenagers got behind the shorter end and pushed forward as they swam towards shore.

"Ow..." Mike groaned. "How much longer? I don't think I can keep swimming..."

"What's wrong, Mike? You were so athletic last season!" Cameron said.

"That wasn't me!" Mike said. "That was Svetlana! _She_ was the one who won all those challenges for our team!"

"You can still help us win without her, though, right?" Cameron asked.

"...I hope so..." Mike said.

* * *

Back on the island, Chris McLean was explaining how he knew Ezekiel was his son.

"Remember the first season?" Chris asked. "All the contestants had to get physicals, to make sure they were healthy enough to compete."

"Yeah, I remember that, eh," Zeke said. "Not sure how Owen got past that, eh."

"When the blood tests came back, I was shocked," Chris said. "They showed that _one of the contestants was my child._"

"Eh, what, eh?" Zeke asked.

"They didn't say _which_ camper was related to me, but it has to be you," Chris said. "You're the only one who was adopted."

"But...you don't know for sure."

"There's only one way to know for sure," Chris said. "Untie me from this chair, and we'll get another blood test done. Okay?"

"I...eh...I..._I love you, Daddy!_" Zeke cried. He bent down and hugged Chris. "You're the best father ever, eh!"

This frightened Chris more than being held hostage by a crazed competitor. "Let me out of here!" he cried.

* * *

Back at the challenge, the three Heroic Hamsters were dodging sharks and pushing their giant log to shore. Meanwhile, the Villainous Vultures were still fighting.

"Are you whiny teenagers ever gonna _SHUT UP?_" Chef shouted. "I swear, you're the worst campers I've ever seen! The other team is halfway through the challenge, and you haven't even started yet!"

The villains paused at this.

"I hate to say it, but Chef's got a point," Duncan said. "We're supposed to be fighting the other team, not each other."

"But the odds are stacked against us," Scott said, trying to sabotage his team. "Everyone knows that they rig these shows, so the heroes always win."

"Then maybe it's time for the villains to win for once!" Gwen said.

"Goth ball's right!" Jo said. "Our team has over four times as many finalists and semi-finalists as the wimpy hero team! Beating them should be a snap!"

"Ain't no _way_ those losers are gonna stop the Lightning!" Lightning said.

*beep beep* Alejandro said passionately.

"Then it's settled!" Heather said. "Let's put aside our differences and crush those pathetic do-gooders once and for all!"

All the members of the Villainous Vultures burst into evil laughter. This was their version of doing a team cheer. It was so frightening that Chef shuddered a bit.

The Villainous Vultures immediately got to work. All of them (except Alejandro) jumped off the cliff, because fear is for wimpy heroes, not bold villains who do whatever they want. With all of them pushing at once, they were able to get their totem pole to shore in record time. They lifted it up and ran right into the pyramid maze, where the hero team was having problems.

"Left!" Courtney said.

"But that's what you said last time, and it was a dead end!" Zoey said.

"Hey, do you hear something?" Sam asked.

They stopped to listen. A loud chanting could be heard.

**"Villains! Villains! Villains!"**

"The other team!" Courtney gasped. "They're gaining on us! RUN!"

Half the team went right, and half the team went left. They slammed into the wall and dropped their totem. They picked it up again and ran down the right fork, which led to the exit.

"There they are!" a voice behind them shouted.

"Attaaaack!" another voice shouted.

"We're almost there, RUN!" Courtney said.

Both teams began running at full speed. The Heroic Hamsters had the lead, but the Villainous Vultures were quickly catching up, because all seven of their team members were running.

"You know, something's bothering me," Sierra said.

"What?" Zoey asked.

"Well, we're supposed to be doing all of the first challenges in _Total Drama_ history, but we still haven't seen the challenge from Season Two!"

"Um, which one was that again?" Sam asked.

"That was the giant animatronic monster which chased everyone!" Sierra said.

On cue, a huge green monster burst out of the woods and ran at the two teams. The heroes screamed.

"SIERRRRRRRA!" Courtney yelled, as the monster picked up their totem and waved it around like a baton.

"Quick, while it's distracted!" Jo said.

The Villainous Vultures ran along the shoreline, headed for the campsite. The monster didn't chase them, partially because it was busy with the other team, and partially because they were too close to water. They safely reached the finish line by the cabins.

"And we have a winner!" Chris McClean said, stepping out from the cabin on the left.

"Where did _you_ come from?" Gwen asked.

"I've been spending a little quality time with my son," Chris said. "Which brings me to today's reward! For coming in first place, the Villainous Vultures get a brand-new team member! He's the best contestant in _Total Drama_ history! Say hello to my son, Ezekiel McLean!"

Ezekiel jumped onscreen. He was dressed in the same outfit that Chris usually wore, and he had combed his hair to look more like Chris'. "Yo, what's up? I'm Zeke, eh! We're gonna win this year!"

"Isn't that the guy who always gets voted off first?" Gwen asked.

"Not this year!" Chris said. "Villains, get settled into your cabin and make friends with my boy Zeke. Heroes, you get to vote someone off tonight!"

"Uh...hey, Dad?" Ezekiel said. "Didn't there use to be a hot tub here or something?"

"You're right!" Chris said. "INTERNS! Set up a hot tub for my son and his friends! NOW!"

* * *

**Confession Cam—We Want a Hot Tub!**

Lightning: A free hot tub party? That's what Lightning calls a _reward! _Sha-hot tub!

Heather: I don't like that nose-picking weirdo, but if he keeps getting us prizes from Daddy, I won't complain.

Ezekiel: Yo! I'm gonna win this year, eh! Dad will make sure of it!

Sierra: Chris has a SON? I think my Tweeter account just died from shock!

Sam: Gosh, I don't know who to vote for. Everyone on the team is so nice! Can't I vote for one of the villains instead?

Mike: I told Courtney we should have gone right, but she didn't listen to me! She's the one who got us lost in the maze!

Courtney: Obviously, I'm going to vote for Sierra. She's the one who made that giant mechanical monster appear!

* * *

**The Elimination Ceremony**

"So the heroes are first on the chopping block, huh?" Chris said. "Tsk. Tsk. How do you manage to lose such a huge lead?"

"The villains got lucky," Courtney said confidently. "They won't be so lucky next time."

"If there _is_ a next time for you," Chris said. He grinned wickedly and pulled out a bag of marshmallows. "These are your immunity marshmallows. Whoever receives a marshmallow is safe. The camper who does _not_ receive a marshmallow must immediately go down to the Dock of Shame and board the Boat of Losers, where they will be taken away from the island. And you can't come back. EVER!"

"Um...we've all been on the show multiple times at this point," Cameron said.

Chris ignored him. "The following campers are safe," he said, throwing marshmallows at them. "Mike! Zoey! Sam! And Cameron!"

"Yes!" Zoey said.

"Lindsay, Courtney, Sierra..." Chris said, shaking his head. "All three of you had votes cast against you in the ballot tonight. Which means one of you is going home."

Courtney scowled angrily, because she couldn't believe someone would vote for her so early in the game. Sierra squealed, loving the dramatic tension of the ceremony. Lindsay, meanwhile, was confused, and she didn't know what was going on.

"I have the votes here," Chris said. "Let's read them off, shall we? One vote Sierra. One vote Courtney. One vote for..."

Chris blinked as he read the ballot. "One vote for Tyler to come back?"

"Yay! That's mine!" Lindsay said.

"Okay, I'm counting that as one vote Lindsay. Next we have...a vote for Sierra. That's two votes Sierra, one vote Courtney, one vote Lindsay."

Sierra frowned. She wasn't _that_ unpopular...was she?

"A vote for Courtney," Chris read. "That makes two for Sierra and Courtney, and one for Lindsay. Oooo, a second vote for Lindsay!"

"Yay! I'm popular!" Lindsay said.

"No, Lindsay, being voted here is a _bad_ thing!" Courtney reprimanded.

"Aw..." Lindsay said.

"There's only one vote left," Chris said. "Whoever's name is on this piece of paper is going home. Lindsay!"

"Yes?" Lindsay asked.

Chris threw her a marshmallow. "You're safe. For now."

Sierra and Courtney both glanced at each other. Dramatic music began to play, as Chris mi.

"The first contestant to be voted off _Total Drama All Stars_ is..."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"Courtney," Chris said, throwing a marshmallow to Sierra. "Sorry, but you're going home."

"What? WHY?" Courtney asked.

"Well, um...you kind of voted yourself team leader without asking any of us," Sam said.

"You also didn't listen to us in the pyramid maze," Mike said.

"I deserve to be Team Leader!" Courtney said. "I was a C.I.T.!"

"And now you're G.O.N.E.!" Chris said. "Dock of Shame time for you, Courtney!"

"WAIT!" a voice shouted.

"Huh?" Chris asked, as one of the interns ran onscreen, holding an envelope.

"Urgent news for Mr. McLean!" the intern said.

"Did I get nominated for another award?" Chris asked.

"Um...no, it's the results from the blood test you asked for," the intern said. "We re-examined the data, and it turns out that..."

The intern whispered into Chris' ear. The host looked shocked.

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN, HE'S NOT MY SON?" Chris shouted. "That..."

"The tests show that _one_ of the campers is related to you! Just not him!"

"Zeeeeeeke!" Chris shouted. "You're gonna pay for this!"

* * *

"No! You can't kick me off, eh!" Ezekiel said. "I was on the winning team!"

"You're going home right now, you lying monster!" Chris said.

"But...but you were the one who said we were related!" Ezekiel said.

"How could I ever been related to a slimeball like you?" Chris said. "Consider yourself out of the game, _forever!_"

"Noooo! I'm always voted off first! It's not fair, eh!" Ezekiel cried, as Chef threw him onto the Boat of Losers. He then turned to Chris and nodded.

"So...am I still eliminated?" Courtney asked.

"Hmmmm...nah," Chris said. "Let's send Ezekiel home. You can stay another round."

"Yes!" Courtney said, throwing her hand in the air triumphantly.

Chris turned the cameras. "And that's the end of our first episode! Courtney dodges elimination, while Ezekiel gets the boot! Which is kind of weird, because he wasn't really a contestant in the first place! Can the heroes turn things around? How long will the villains' alliance last? And which one of the campers is related to me? Find out next time, on _Total...Drama...ALL STARS!"_

The camera zoomed out, and Chris' eyes went wide. "Wait, one of the campers is still related to me? For reals? I thought that was all just a trick!"

* * *

**Confession Cam—Dramatic After-show Scene**

Alejandrobot: *beep* *beep* *beeeeeeeeeeeep* Oh, forget it!

(Alejandro removes the top of the robot suit. His face has a nasty scar, and his voice sounds a bit different.)

Alejandro: That's right. I don't need to wear this robot suit anymore. I'm just pretending to be helpless. That way, no one else will see me as a threat, and they won't see it coming when I destroy them. I've been waiting over a year to get my revenge on Heather. I can wait a few more weeks.

**End Episode One**

* * *

**Author's Note: **And that's it for Episode One! To be honest, this is all I wanted to write for the series. I probably won't be able to write a whole, thirteen-episode season before the show airs. And since I don't have Cartoon Network anymore, I'll never know if my guesses for the show are accurate or not!

Having Sierra obsess over Cameron, in place of Cody, is a random shot in the dark for me. Maybe it'll happen on the show, maybe it won't. I expect they'll have more of the Duncan/Gwen/Courtney love triangle, they'll have Alejandro lose his robot suit at a dramatically appropriate moment, and Mike will struggle with being interesting. I like Mike, but I have no idea how he'll work in the new season, given that he's still getting billed as "Multiple Personality Mike", even though he's over his MPD. Will his personalities reappear, or is he headed towards a first round elimination?

I decided that they're going to repeat old challenges in this season, based on the preview I saw on Facebook. I guess that makes sense. The fans will like it, and the writers don't need to think up any new challenges! Everyone wins!

...Unless it turns out I'm totally wrong, and Facebook just re-used old clips from previous seasons. In that case, I lose. Oh, well. Either way, feel free to nominate a favorite challenge for our heroes to go through! Maybe it'll inspire me to continue the story, instead of leaving it as a oneshot.


End file.
